Meredith: …i want to know why is it such a torture
Derrick: Its funny you should be asking me that. Right from the start i made it very clear what its going to be like, what we cannot do and what we even more cannot do. I’ve set my rules clear and seek your understanding. From the point you agreed to it, you have already ’signed’ the contract. You agreed to it, and you promise to abide the rules. You know the consequences of it if its not handled properly. Yes i predicted its going to be difficult at times. But i thought you’re satisfied even if just a few sms-es and brief smiles. I did try to go a bit further for you, i surprise you with gift to cheer you up. You were really grateful. Why did you suddenly change? We were ok yesterday.
Meredith: It was ok when we only met so briefly and communicate through very short messages. I don’t like it when there’s another kind of formal relationship to it. I can’t stand how i can be such a failure in one relationship and be happy in the other. Its like there are things you know too much of me. I don’t know how to face you at times. I don’t know which platform of relationship we are on whenever i see you. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to react, everything i do seems wrong to you. We have this public relationship and private relationship, it driving me crazy!
Derrick: I understand the confusion and embarrassment that you felt. I can tell you that I don’t mix the 2 together. If you still feel that way, despite all I’ve said and done, I really don’t know how to help.
Meredith: …you seems younger these days, which one made you feel young again?
Derrick:…do you still want to continue this conversation?
Meredith: Which relationship is it now? Formal or private?
Derrick: …do you still want to continue all this?
Meredith: am i childish for you now?
Derrick: …be mature about this.
Meredith: here i am, trying to be older, and you younger. To close the gaps?
Derrick: …Sort out your thoughts first and tell me what is your plans from now on. I’ll get back to you next week.
Meredith: I know…weekend is ‘off’ for us.
Derrick: Will you stop doing all these!?
Meredith: I don’t know myself anymore. Neither do i know you anymore.
~
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do- What hurts the most (Rascal Flatts)
~
